My Highs and Lows of the Past Month - DWC Day 30

Lows:

• Continued unemployment
  
• Every un-payable bill that came through my mailbox
  
• Family loss of an elderly cousin
  
• Dogs breaking the gate and getting out when we're racing off to a baby shower.
  
• Phone calls from creditors.
  
• A friend getting upset with me for only doing Facebook invitations to the baby shower.
  
• Fights with the boyfriend.
  
• Eviction notice.
  

Highs:

• Well done, successful baby shower for my daughter
  
• Figured out what my boyfriend and I were really fighting about and made up
  
• Discovery of the wonderful cleaning abilities of vinegar
  
• When my phone flew off the roof of the car at 35 mph and survived!!!!
  
• Helping my daughter prepare and decorate the bedroom for her and the kids.
  
• Taco Bells Smothered Burrito
  
• The car financier allowing a deferment for August's payment.
  
• Callie and Mama kitty's kittens
  
• Grandson2's healthy birth
  
• Completing the 30 day writing challenge
  
  
  

Goals For the Next 30 Days - DWC Day 29

I have the map from where I want to be in ten years. So logically, my goals for the next 30 days should somehow inch me closer to that Utopia. Also logically I should continue to set goals every 30 days to help me see where I've been and where I'm going.

Goals for the next 30 days:

• Health and Well-being
  
  • Plan 7 breakfasts that focus on fruits and vegetables as the center of the meal.
    
  • Walk/exercise for ½ an hour every day.
    

• Travel
  
  • Plan the details of a trip just for myself.
    

• Just for Fun
  
  • Clean up and add to music selections on my phone and computer so I can have music wherever I go.
    

• Spiritual Development
  
  • Write out a daily ritual with time for me to think and review my life, and express prayers and gratitude.
    

• Family and Relationships
  
  • Make plans for Halloween. Think about traditions to keep for every Halloween.
    
  • Plan activities for scheduled time with my lover, my children, and my grandchildren in the future when I have enough money to do the activities.
    
  • Make a list of little ways to show My Love love everyday.
    

• Environment
  
  • Work daily on improving the house I live in now: clean, get rid of things, pack to move.
    
  • Create a housework plan that includes the people that are at the house half-time.
    

• Business
  
  • Keep applying for standard jobs.
    
  • Write every day.
    

• Personal Development
  
  • Continue to practice Spanish daily.
    
    
    

Something That I Miss - DWC Day 28

I had to think hard here because I have kept many of my emotions about things lost to fire, breakage, and theft in check by assuring myself that it's people that are important, not things.  Things can be replaced.  Even expensive things can eventually be replaced.  In the past year we have replaced a lost car and two lost computers.  I still miss my guitar, my mother's Christmas ornaments and dishes (that aren't replaceable), and a bigger house that I could call my own.  But on to today's subject...

I miss VCR's and all the uses of a VCR. (Admittedly I still have one that has to be cleaned after every two or three videos, but I wish I could get a new one and videos to go with it.) We could record shows and watch them a million times. We could record the news if something significant occurred or a commercial if we thought it was cute or fun or useful to teach with. The VCR was so easy for the toddler's to use and helped them learn basic shapes very quickly (the sticker has to be on top and push the triangle button. No, the square button stops your movie. Push the triangle button.) We didn't realize that DVD's were coming and have stacks of VHS tapes, great movies that we now overlook due to the inconvenience of no VCR or an antique VCR that won't play clearly. DVD's don't last very long, they get scratched, cracked and destroyed if left in the toddler's hands. I'm sure that there is some technology out there that would allow me to turn my old movies, home videos, and weeks of recordings of my soap opera and the mini-drama“V” into DVD's. But that gadget probably costs an arm and a leg and then what happens when DVD's are out and there is something new?

A Problem That I Have Had - DWC Day 27

Problems, problems, problems... They can be numerous. They can also be minimized with a change in viewpoint. I think that the biggest consistent problem that I have had throughout my life is my (erroneous) belief that love and relationships are based on looks and that mine weren't good enough.

What I have come to finally learn is that for every body type there is someone who is attracted to it and that love is based on what you see inside someone since what you see outside will change.

Because of that incorrect viewpoint, I have struggled with my weight for most of my life, never realizing (before) that the reason to eat healthy and exercise is to be healthy and live better and has nothing to do with the number on a scale or the size of your pants but has everything to do with the quality of ones life.

What Kind of Person Attracts Me - DWC Day 26

There are three ways that someone can attract me. Through their physical characteristics, their intelligence, and through their character. Physically, I like Hispanic men, tall and thin. I have a fairly low tolerance for people who don't use the brains that they were given. An education is fine, but intelligence is so much better. In their character, I appreciate someone who can find humor in life, is kind, views children as precious, and believes in the value of family.

Someone Who Fascinates Me and Why - DWC Day 25

I took an extra day on this one because I couldn't figure out who fascinates me. My daughter and grand-kids fascinate me for where they came from and who they are becoming.  My boyfriend fascinates me because he tries and he loves me which I find fascinating all by itself.  But I think to really do this subject justice I'll have to go with someone famous. I have seen many public figures as fascinating. Some I have appreciated for their sheer beauty like Orlando Bloom or Marilyn Monroe. Some I have idolized for the life they were given and how they struggled to overcome such as Helen Keller and Anne Frank. Many people I follow for their physical talents like Mikhail Baryshnikov or Michael Phelps. But what I most appreciate in others is their minds. Brilliant people are in abundance throughout history (though the not so brilliant are in greater abundance): Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates. The person who most fascinates me is Nikolai Tesla.

Nikola Tesla was born in 1856 in what is now Croatia and came to the U.S. In 1884. He worked briefly for Thomas Edison until their inventions became competitive. He was censored and controlled through poverty, the government, and through the interests of business moguls like J.P. Morgan.

Tesla invented alternating current (the standard of electrical power), how to harness and distribute light (including florescent bulbs, neon signs, ), the Tesla coil, x-rays, radio, remote control, the electric motor, robotics, the laser, wireless communications, and limitless free energy. Tesla had hundreds of patents and a multitude of other ideas and inventions that remain unreleased.

Tesla fascinates me for being a man of invention and a man of character who has changed the world for the better and could have done so much more for humanity if his ideas weren't held back.

For more information on Tesla and his genius (displayed and suppressed), please visit: Release Tesla Research and Tesla Universe

My Favorite Movie - DWC Day 24

My favorite movie, among many favorites, is Family Man starring Nicholas Cage as Jack Campbell and Tea Leoni as Kate Reynolds. After college the couple has a plan that he will go work for a brokerage house in Europe and become a successful broker and promotion seeking business man while she pursues her law practice. But as life tends to do, he didn't stay connected to her and continued on with his life being successful and keeping relationships contained to sexual encounters.

On Christmas Eve, Jack decides to walk home from the office and stops off to buy some eggnog. While he is in the store a man enters to cash in a winning lottery ticket. The cashier refuses claiming that the guy falsified the ticket. The guy pulls a gun and tries to force the matter. Jack offers to pay the guy for the lottery ticket himself. The guy takes the deal and walks out with Jack. The guy goes on and on about how the higher ups are impressed with Jack's behavior. As they walk, Jack suggests that the guy get some help and go to a shelter and says something about “Everybody wants something.” The guy stops Jack and says”Remember that you asked for this.” and walks away.

Jack goes home and and finishes the evening with a lovely lady and lays down to go to sleep alone. He wakes up in another bed entirely with a woman, Kate, telling him to go make some very strong coffee, a preschooler jumping on the bed and hollering, and a screaming baby. He makes a run for it and drives back to his penthouse in the city where the doorman won't let him in and his office where they no longer know his name. The lottery ticket guy shows up in Jack's Ferrari and explains to Jack that this is a “glimpse.”

He heads back to the suburbs and is found by someone who is a close friend in this strange parallel universe. His friend thinks that Jack is having a nervous breakdown and advises him not to make a decision about anything just because he is a little confused right now (good advice). His friend guides him back to the correct house where he gets scolded by Kate for missing Christmas with her and the kids. He explains to her that this isn't his life and like any wife would, she takes it personally. Over time he gets to know and love his wife and two children and begins to understand how they got to this place in their lives where he is selling tires and she is a nonprofit lawyer. Then suddenly he is sent back to his real life.

He goes to find Kate who is a strong career woman high up in a law firm that is sending her to work in Paris. He talks her into missing her flight and tells her all about their kids and their life and tries to convince her of what they lost when he chose not to return all those years before.

I like this movie because it shows that its never too late.

Five Famous Men that I Find Attractive and Why - DWC Day 23

The people that we watch on television and in movies are, for the most part, the beautiful people.  They are ideals, physical beauties and mysteries.  They are people that we want to know for their looks and can never know except through the magic of media.  I find these particular men attractive for the roles that they have played and how those roles made me feel, the angles of their faces, their dark hair, and the polished looks that they (or their publicists) give the public.  They may not be anything like what I look for in a partner, but they sure are nice to look at.

Hugh Jackman

Johnny Depp

Jonathan Bennett

Matt Bomer

Orlando Bloom

How I Have Changed In the Past Two Years - DWC Day 22

In general I have trouble with change. I understand that change is valuable and necessary, but I struggle with implementing my plans for change. There are many changes that I would like to begin in my life.

In the past two years I have gotten control of what I think about my career of 14 years. I have realized that teaching may be an important (yet underappreciated) career that is best suited for specific personalities. And my personality isn't one of them. I loved planning my lessons and reaching struggling students. Every other part of teaching was painful for me. So I'm hunting to find a different niche for myself.

Also in the past two years I have learned how to be in a long term relationship. I am genetically wired for fidelity, so that wasn't the issue. I just didn't understand the dedication to the relationship even when I might be upset with the other person. I'm still learning.

One of My Favorite Shows - DWC Day 21

My favorite show is House M.D.  I have all 8 seasons on DVD.  Since I don't have cable, I just watch one DVD after another in order.  I often work at home or fall asleep to the dulcet tones of Greg House saying that "Everyone lies!" and "It's never Lupus."

I think that the main reason I like the show is that I was born without the Jerk Gene.  So it's very important to me to study and attempt to emulate confident and capable jerks.  It keeps me from being a constant doormat to the whims of the rest of the world.  Also see Seven Lessons Women Can Learn From House.

I admit that it also fascinates me that House is a high functioning addict.  In some seasons he is popping Vicodin constantly.  In other seasons he is having hallucinations from the overuse of the pills or is detoxing or is clean.  The addiction cycle interests me.

The medical side of the show draws me to it as well.  I like to know the names of medical conditions and medications and their uses.  Most of it isn't good ethical medicine, but it's neat to see someone push the limits to find cures.

My favorite episode, One Day, One Room (Season 3, Episode 12) is about a girl who was raped and comes into the clinic to get checked for an STD.  She only trusts House, though neither of them know why, and they go through some deep talking about a side of House that we don't usually see.  At one very deep point we find out about the name of the episode when the girl tells House that life is a series of rooms and the time we spend with the people in those rooms are the only things that matter.

How Important I Think Education Is - DWC Day 20

To answer the question of how important I think education is, I'm going to tell you a short true story.

My grandfather, who was born and raised in the second decade of the 1900's, dropped out of school when he was in 8^th grade. As the eldest he had to go to work to help support the rest of the family. But he knew something that lots of college educated people don't seem to know, “Anything that you want to learn can be found in a book.” He needed to replace the engine in his truck, so he found a book and did it. When he retired, he needed a hobby, so he found plenty of books on jewelry making and how to pan for gold and bread making. And because he didn't have that silly piece of paper to show that he finished high school, he thought he was dumb. In reality, the fact that he was intelligent enough to find the answers meant that he was probably gifted.

Now today with the internet at hand, finding answers is as easy as finding Google. With answers on the internet, you have to have the sense to use the strength of your mind to wade through and weed out useless or erroneous information. Cross checking your facts is a clever practice.

Yes, education is important. Using our minds is incredibly important. Institutions of learning and homeschooling parents sometimes hit the mark, and sometimes they miss it. The only way to learn the things you truly want to know about is your own drive to find information, discovery of the ways that it can and can't be done, attempts at doing it their way, imaginings of if there is a better way, and attempts at doing it your way. You only die when you stop being able to learn.

Disrespecting My Parents - DWC Day 19

I'm not sure how I could disrespect my parents here without expressing a great deal of disrespect for myself. I think that my parents tried to do the best that they could with my brother and me. They taught me to think for myself. They didn't have much growing up and had working parent's guilt, so they showered me with things. They encouraged us to read and the content wasn't usually censored, as long as we would read it, they would buy it. They took us on family vacations that always included a museum. Mistakes or misbehavior meant a long discussion, not a beating or punishment. They were kind, intelligent, and generous.

If the request here is to pick out where they failed, I suppose there are a few ways... They should have taught me the value of a dollar better. If I had known that one has to work for everything in life I might not have struggled so much when I left home. They should have argued in front of me so that I would know how to disagree with someone that I care about without destroying the relationship in the process. They should have taught me that daily routines help us complete menial tasks that have to be finished for day to day and long term functionality. They should have taught me that family comes before anything. They should have made me turn off the Atari or the TV and get some exercise or at least a hobby. They should have encouraged me to be more involved with friends and public activities so that I wouldn't have been such a hermit.

I know from my own experience as a parent and from parenting classes that I have taken that unless one goes out of their way to learn a new way of parenting that everyone parents the same way that the previous generation did. Therefore, if no one in your family has every tried to educate themselves in a better way of parenting, then they are probably parenting the same way your caveman ancestors did. I know that my parents were college educated people that took classes about child psychology and child development. I know that they tried to do the best that they could. But all parents make mistakes.

My Beliefs - DWC Day 18

Today's blog is a little more difficult to write because there are so many areas of our lives that one can have beliefs about. I've told you my beliefs about religion, suicide, and music. I have an upcoming blog about education.  So I'll stay away from those subjects...  I believe in refrigerators, running water, and air conditioning.  I believe that most people are not beautiful outside, therefore we have clothes to cover some of it up.  I believe that somewhere out there must be life on another planet.  I believe that pollution will be the death of the Earth.  I believe that if I had to hunt for my own food that I would be a vegetarian.  I believe that everyone should have to have counseling throughout high school so that they can start their adult lives with a clean slate.  So many little beliefs.  Here are three things that I believe in strongly:

Pets – Pets are your children that never grow up and move out.

Pets are a commitment. I often see people get a pet because it's small, cute, and fluffy and then it behaves like an animal and pees on the carpet or grows a little and out it goes into the cold where the coyotes can eat it. My friends get frustrated with me because we need to find a new home, but most places won't rent to someone with pets and we have two big dogs. My friends think that I should just get rid of the dogs and move on without them. Aside from the fact that I've had these dogs for a really long time and now they are senior citizens, I believe in my heart that they are part of our family. I wouldn't just send my grandson to some farm or release him to the cruel streets or have him put down because he was too expensive or we couldn't find somewhere to live because of him. So how could I do that to my dogs or cats. Like our children, pets are a commitment, not just in money or the time one spends with them, but also for their lifetime.

Children – Choose your children as a priority or give them to someone who will.

Despite bumper stickers that say “It's not a choice, it's a child.” I believe that having and raising children is a choice. If you aren't ready and willing to have and responsibly raise your children, then don't have them. I'm not talking about financial responsibility, there are lots of lovely people that I know that were raised in poverty but are still wonderful people that the world would be a sadder place without. If you accidentally get pregnant, decide...are you going to become responsible or give your child to someone who does want the responsibility or do something else. (I'm not going to give my opinions for or against abortion today.) Too many people have children because...well, pregnancy happens...and then they do little or nothing to help make their child's life better or to show their child how this world works. If you choose to have a child (or more than one) then it is your responsibility to protect them from violence and abuse and to teach them cleanliness, manners, respect for themselves and others, integrity, and how to find answers. These are the things necessary to function intelligently in society. No they aren't all easily taught. They are best taught through your good example and reinforcement of their good behavior. And the hardest work is in the early years, because personality is fully formed by age 5.

My 10 Priorities As A Mother

Relationships – The grass isn't always greener.

A relationship is going to be difficult no matter who it's with. Unless the relationship is abusive or destructive, we all should commit to the relationship that we have and keep going. There are always going to be those difficult relatives or money problems or differences of opinion. There are always going to be weird behaviors or habits. There will always be something that you or the other person is insecure about. Leaving the relationship might eliminate one set of problems, but then you get in a new relationship and there are just as many similar issues. As long as you both care for each other, then you might as well keep trying and keep working things out with the one that you're with.